Content on this page requires a newer version of Adobe Flash Player.

Get Adobe Flash player

Content on this page requires a newer version of Adobe Flash Player.

Get Adobe Flash player

Content on this page requires a newer version of Adobe Flash Player.

Get Adobe Flash player

Langhorne Slim

"Sean" Langhorne Slim (he dropped the name Sean because it sounded too threatening) was born outside of Philadelphia. His father worked in a coalmine (probably not), while his mom was a fixer at a top law firm (like George Clooney's character in Michael Clayton -- but real). He was taught to play guitar by a robot named Johnny Spaceship -- the same robot he lost his virginity to (it was a transgender robot with long blonde hair). In 2002 he won the Heisman Trophy (which is normally awarded for college football, but that's just how good a musician Langhorne was). He released his first album in 2004 and everyone loved it. I know I did. I put it on all my Top 10 lists for music magazines that are mostly out of business now.

I toured across the country with Langhorne five years ago in a dodge mini-van. Once, when we were stopped at a rest area, Langhorne took everything out of the mini-van to rearrange things and make more room. Then he put it all back in. As we were backing out we heard a loud crunch -- we had driven over something. We stopped and looked -- it was Langhorne's guitar. For the remaining dates we borrowed a guitar in each city. A week later, in Chicago, Langhorne left his suitcase with all his clothes at the club -- for the rest of the tour he traveled in his one white suit. Anyway, he was a fuck-up, but he is an incredible musician, writing some of today's most charming love songs.

What kind of love songs? Well -- some are literal, about specific events, people and relationships (like his song about having sex in a well with two gymnasts called I Fucked Two Gymnasts In a Well -- side note -- I made that up and please don't tell him about it), others are a form of therapy or come from a place far more mysterious (like if Batman was a singer songwriter).

If Langhorne was a lady, I would try to date him -- even though I know he is dangerous and he would break my heart. Please write about his music in your magazine, blog or whatever. He's a wonderful and moving musician and can pull off wearing a hat that would look silly on most other people. I'm sad that he left New York and miss seeing his shows all the time (he's one of the very few musicians I've loved instantly after seeing him live for the first time). Thanks.

Calle Fuencarral, 35. 2║Izda. 28004 Madrid [España]